My sex life is very satisfying

Dear Pastor, 

I am 19 and I was forced to leave my parents’ home because I got pregnant. It is not that my parents wanted me to leave, but the house was not convenient for me. Plus, my parents kept saying that I have embarrassed them. 

I could not stay at my babyfather’s home because the condition there was worse than my parents’ home.  I have two sisters and two brothers. My brothers share one bed and sometimes they sleep on the floor. 

You may wonder how I had sex while living under such poor conditions. My boyfriend took me out one night and his friend allowed him to use his apartment. That is how I had sex and ended up pregnant.  

I knew that my boyfriend had other women because we were only able to have sex occasionally when I got pregnant. He was not afraid to tell me that he was feeling for sex. You know there is this thing they call phone sex. He and I practised it before he rented a place for us to live. We went out looking for a house and found a man who advertised that he wanted a couple. When he saw me, he said that he did not want anybody who has a child because they may destroy his place. My boyfriend begged him to rent it to us. So he drew up a lease.  

We are still living in this man’s place and now he treats us as his own children. He calls my babyfather his son. If my boyfriend raises his voice at me, this man gets upset and tells him off. My child is more than a year old now and I love the baby. I also love my landlord. I don’t want to leave this place; I feel so comfortable. There is another couple living here who are planning to go abroad and the landlord said he would let us move to that side.  

Sometimes I wonder how come I am enjoying so much sex. My boyfriend says that I should go out and look for a job, but I know that he doesn’t mean it, because before I had the baby, he used to tell me that I shouldn’t think about going out to work until the baby is two years old. But I know that it is very hard on him because the rent is $70,000 per month. My mother has been here to help me. She told us to try our best to take care of this man’s place because we will not get a place like this for that kind of money.  My father has promised to help me to pay down on a place of our own, but my babyfather said that he would rather struggle on his own than take money from my father. 

My babyfather likes to make a lot of noise when we are having sex, so we are anxious for the other couple to leave so that we can occupy where they are living.  I told my parents when I got pregnant that I was sorry for letting them down. My father told me that he knew that it was going to happen, so he does not hold anything against me. He told my babyfather to try his best to take care of me.   

E. 

Dear E., 

Your child’s father told you that he doesn’t want you to go to work until the child is two years old. 

I believe he means well, but you should reason with him whenever you feel you are ready to go back to work, because your rent is heavy and it would be good if you could find somewhere in the region of $50,000-$60,000 per month. Both of you can put together and pay it. If you insist that you want to stay where you are and pay the $70,000 with both of you working, it would not be a burden on your babyfather alone.  

I am happy that you have a good landlord. Make sure that his rent is paid on time and make sure that you show him respect at all times. Please, go to church and save some of your money to purchase your own house.  

Pastor