Husband’s weight is hurting our sex life

Dear Pastor,

I am 40 and my husband is 70. I had two children before I met him and he has two sons and two daughters.

After dating this man for two years, we decided to get married. He was never able to satisfy me. But I put up with the situation because I needed help. My two children are for two different men, who were not supporting them very well. This man had two houses, the one he lived in and another place he rented out. Two of his children were living with him, but he asked them to go on their own because he told them he wanted me to live at the house, and to take care of the place and him. He is a man of means. He had land, so he gave each of his sons a lot. He then transferred the lands into their names. His daughters are married and living with their husbands. The house that he rented out brought in extra income, so I had enough money to support me and my children.

My big issue was the sex. This man is very heavy and his penis is too short. He told me that the doctor says his sex life can improve, but he has to lose weight. However, he is not doing anything about it. He eats a lot and his tummy is getting bigger. I heard a rumour that I have tied this man to me by giving him bad food to eat. I don't have to tie this man. Even when I met him and I was not satisfied with my life, I did not chase after any man. This man loves to eat fatty foods. Pork is his favourite meat, and he does not like me to cut off the fat.

I do not want to cheat on him, but sometimes I would like to have better sex. He does not want to diet, but my doctor told me that if he does not lose weight, especially on his belly, his penis will not get longer. So please give me the best advice that you can.

O.F.

Dear O.F.,

I hope you would not be foolish and become involved with another man because you believe that your husband's penis is too short and you want something longer.

One young lady told me that she was going to leave her boyfriend because his penis was too 'fine' (I am using her own words). She wanted a bigger one and said that this man's penis was wiggling around in her vagina. I believe that you are smart enough to know that this man is financially able to take care of you and your children. You may find a man who has a large penis who can satisfy you sexually, but has nothing financially. I know you are faced with a real challenge and that is to get this man to eat less and to cut out the fat from his diet.

I also suggest that you accompany him to a doctor. Ask whether you can sit in while the doctor is speaking to him. I am sure the doctor would agree because you are the one preparing his meals. This man needs to understand that he is digging his own grave by being overweight. When a person is overweight, they will develop other physical problems.

My dear sister, don't be tempted to go with any other man; work on this man. Your doctor can put him on a reducing diet, and when the weight begins to roll off, this man would love you even more than he does now.

Pastor